15 December 2010

Refresh conference has surprised me...
I know the Lord is moving here and in my heart, but in unexpected ways.
I've cried or been on the verge of tears nearly all day... In my world, this is a sign of the Spirit making me sensitive.
I've seen growth in myself in relationship which encourages the deepest part of my soul.  I so want to know how to love and be loved well.  I've been reading Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Mason, and while his words have pushed me, I am getting to practice this week.  And by the sweet grace of Jesus, I'm not completely failing.  I am astounded by the joy and peace I get to experience by just making tiny changes in my heart and mind.  Humanity has been reframed for me.  I'm encountering Jesus less in a 24-hour prayer room today and more so in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant devouring delicious Israeli food and getting to see souls rather than facades.  I'm learning in the smallest increments to how to love, but my life already feels different.  Love changes you in a profound unexplainable way.
This trip has been difficult in another way... waiting.  Whether I want to or not, I'm waiting on the Lord's answer to some petitions dangerously close to my heart.  I was hoping ever so strongly that the magical International House of Prayer prayer room would usher in a reply to my requests... not exactly.  There is a slightly larger measure of peace in my heart, but also of anticipation.  (Funny how those both grew together...) The Lord's responses were not black and white.  They were not words of action.  But rather... a tender-hearted Jesus knowingly smiling and saying, "Don't worry.  There's no rush.  You have the rest of your life, and I know how long that will be.  Enjoy this season.  Don't wish it away.  You are in a sweet time of life.  You have me."  I do have Him... The creator of the universe has confessed His unchanging heart for me over and over again in written word, in my heart, in creation.  There is no doubt there.  How could I not be satisfied in THAT? He is a safe place to put my trust... even in the waiting.  


"Lord, You alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.  You guard all that is mine."  Psalm 16:5
He is trustworthy.

14 December 2010

Hello cold, flat Kansas City! 
You will probably never be my favorite city, but I love that IHOP (International House of Prayer) lives here.
Tonight, we spent a couple hours in the prayer room there.  It was sweet time for so many reasons. 
1. How often do I get to set aside two whole hours to just sit in Jesus' presence and just rest and listen and pray?  Basically never... so that was great!
2. Jesus was incredibly gracious (as always) to capture my wandering thoughts, to gently whisper to me.
3. In the sweet whispers, He spoke perfectly into the fears and pleadings of my heart.  Not one word out of place, not one word wasted...


This time reminded me of how thirsty my soul was, how empty my heart was from running on stolen moments with the Lord rather than sustained intimate worship. My schedule will be seeing some shuffling soon... Time to rearrange the priorities.  

We had some sweet community building time with our staff which is so refreshing... Thus far our trek to Kansas City is living up to its name- Refresh.

12 December 2010


I had a really fun, relaxing weekend... I don't want to leave semi-warmer Florida for ridiculously freezing Kansas City or currently snowing North Georgia.  But alas, I am leaving in the morning for a four day conference with the Wesley staff.  Then, I am on to Lula, Charlotte and Memphis over the break... 






09 December 2010

I'm a sucker for a good love song... This one has absolutely captured my heart. It's been playing on repeat in my head all day.  



Sweet song about a first dance...

08 December 2010

Read a challenging/encouraging blog today... I posted an excerpt. 
"...we serve a God who loves redemption more than we can possibly imagine. We may feel disqualified for his mercy. We may feel too dirty for his grace. We may feel only a series of white knuckle works will open back up his gates.
But, that’s not what his love letter says. We are not shown a steady parade of heroes who became even more heroic in the hands of God. We are shown a parade of failures who found forgiveness. Losers who found love. Hopeless who found hope.
Christmas is a loud season, but hopefully, you’ll hear the real song.
It’s one of redemption. My redemption. Your redemption. Our redemption.
The God who loved Judah and David and Paul, loves you. And that’s a very redeeming thought."
If you want to read the whole post, here's the link...
So thankful for the hopefulness Christmas brings.  We are sinners in need of a savior... and God provided a way for us to redemption.  

07 December 2010

Question of my day...

How do I know the difference in being persistent and laboring in prayer for something (and it not immediately happening) and a closed door from the Lord?  Seems to me like both scenarios would feel the same in my heart... 
Easy week around Wesley for now... Thankful for that.
Freezing cold in central Florida... Can't say I'm really thankful there.


Starting a Bible study/book study on Prayer in small group... Thankful for that.  Challenged by it already.  Makes me miss UGA Wesley in a way.  Prayer was always the cornerstone, the priority.  They have a unique calling for powerful, persistent, joyful intercession that I got to enjoy and learn from in my time there.

Ever have a day or a week where you're pretty sure, you're on the verge of a breakthrough the with Lord or with understanding yourself?
I'm there today.  Maybe it's a good thing I'm being reminded of the central place prayer should have in my life.  Communion with God, my rootedness in Christ is essential, necessary, fulfilling, the reason I exist. It deserves to be reestablished as the glasses through which I view the world- it's skewed by any other perspective than Christ's. 

30 November 2010

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?  Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.  Your playing small doesn't serve the world.  There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.  We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 
- Nelson Mandela



I want to be that person... the kind of person who "liberates others," the kind of person who doesn't "play small," the kind of person that recognizes her call to "manifest the glory of God that is within."

28 November 2010

Tomorrow real life returns... However, knowing my schedule- I shouldn't complain.  I am extremely blessed to wake up (usually late morning) and go to a job I love, with people I adore, with afternoons and weekends full of fun adventures and more people I don't deserve to call friends.  Knowing all that, I am excited to fill up the next couple weeks with way too much fun to last me the THREE weeks I'll be at home for Christmas.  I miss them all (and the warmth) already!!




Today was an exceptional day... I woke up late, finished some school work, watched some football, crafted, watched Pearl Harbor, went to church and dinner with friends.  



1. I totally forgot how sad Pearl Harbor was and how much I used to be in LOVE with Ben Affleck as a teenager.  That movie is a favorite I love to hate... 


2. I'm reading Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Mason, and I love it.  I've read 26 pages.  I feel so challenged already.  Mason really paints a picture of how the Lord sees humanity and individuals.  His creations are so precious to him so why are we so quick to discard them?  This will be a book I read multiple times.  I've already fallen a little more in love with people in general from allowing my mind to be transformed by the way Mason presents scripture and truth.  Totally recommend the first 26 pages! We'll see if I can recommend the rest in a few days- I'm sure I'll be done with it by then. I've underlined like half the book. 



These belong at my Grandma's, but I think they are the cutest little decorations.  She's had them since my mom was in early elementary school.

3. Tonight began the Advent season at church. I was really effected by the service tonight.  I love Christmas music and decorations and the whole spirit of the Holidays! Isaac made some poignant remarks paralleling the angel's declaration to Mary about Jesus' birth.  One quote I particularly identified with was: "Never does God call someone to servanthood and their lives automatically become easier and more comfortable, but they do become more significant and better."
I absolutely fell called to be in the place's I'm in (and there's not a better, more peaceful feeling in the world), but it's not easy, and I'm uncomfortable.  Hearing that quote in relation to Mary's life brought a lot of hope.  The Lord uses insignificant, common people like myself to change history, and it starts with being outside of our comfort zones.  It starts with a calling to servanthood that requires faith and sacrifice in one way or another.  This call to servanthood doesn't start after my degree is finished or after some milestone, it starts where I am with what I have.

25 November 2010


This is Laura Fletcher....


I had the absolute pleasure of co-leading her small group when she was a freshie at UGA.  Then for the next two years, I got to meet with her every week.  She stole my heart... I love her dearly.  She was a blessing to disciple.  We have so many good memories from pranking the boys' cars her freshman year to Brave's games and stupid boys and Disciple Now weekends and beach trips and football games... Let's just say we had a lot of fun together.  


Tonight we were chatting it up on Facebook, and we've become inspired to start a revolution... against "the game."  We're thinking no one actually likes the dating games we play so we're doing something about it... Here's our conversation:


Becca: hmmm we should start a revolution
i've always wanted to start one
this seems like a good reason


Laura: me and jennie are in for sure.


Becca: how do you go about starting a revolution?


Laura: get a reality show? that seems to be the first step in getting famous these days.


Becca: yes... good plan
so step #1 audition for The Bachelor


Laura: OK.
that's the epitome of "the game" though
we could rebel and cause a riot?
on the show of course


Becca: yes! I think this a good plan...
a REALLY good plan


Laura: i'm in. let's go.


Becca: okay... done!
The world isn't ready for this...


Laura: we're about to take these boys by storm
they don't like playing games either... they just think it's what we want.
back to the plan though! revolution!


Becca:  is it bad that I'm making a list of guys I want to witness this revolution?


Laura: no no. that is good!


Becca: haha
okay so we get on the Bachelor... then start a revolution by taking over the film crew and doing the show our way
it'd make great TV and I bet Chris Harrison would even be on our side


Laura: they are not going to know what hit them...


Becca: and it'll change the world!


Laura: ahhh. i can't wait!


This is why I loved discipling her... We totally solve the world's problems in like 4.2 minutes. 
It's the little things in life...
1. At dinner last night I was lamenting having to paper write on Thanksgiving holiday. Here's the conversation...
Becca: I just feel like it's a waste of my life, and I want to throw it in the ocean. 
Palmer (3 years old- while pointing his finger at me in all seriousness): No! We have to keep the ocean clean!
... well I have been corrected.  I will be mentally trashing my paper in the recycling bin from now on.


2. Taylor Swift is coming to Orlando on June 4th, 2011... I got the email last night and dreamt about it.
I'll be counting down the days!


3. I think have a tan in the winter time might be a new favorite.


4. Going out for Thanksgiving dinner= no dishes!


Thanksgiving break has been so refreshing for my mind and soul... not so helpful for my barely-there work ethic.  One more week until I'm finished with the semester (only one giant research paper, presentation, workbook and reflection paper in the way)... Next Thursday night I'm celebrating!

21 November 2010

Tonight at church Issac (our pastor) spoke about idols in our life, but at one point he mentioned the love story of Jacob and Rachel.   I must say the Bible has some pretty messed up love stories, but one line from the story played over and over again in my mind- as it would probably any girls- "Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel. But his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days."  (Genesis 29) 
Precious words... 

At the beach with my parents for the week, and this little mini-vacation couldn't have come at a better time.  I needed a week out of routine to relax, catch up and get centered.  Sometimes, I'm rushing through life to such an extent that I lose my focus, my grounding.  I'm so thankful today that I'm sitting on the balcony of a cute little condo, listening to waves, looking at the full moon reflecting on the water, counting the stars... knowing I'm loved and wanted by the Creator of the Universe, sure of my calling and place in this world (for today at least), so deeply grateful for the incredible community God's provided for me in Florida.  While there are unfulfilled desires in my heart, things I dream about, hopes I expect to realize, today I just couldn't ask for more.   Thank you Jesus for being such a good daddy.

17 November 2010

I feel like T.Swift and I could totally be besties... 





Things we have in common:

1. Use of peace signs in photos (despite the extreme cliche-ness of it)
2. Love of bright colors, glitter and sparkles and "whimsical" things (really that's FOUR things)
3. Collections of headbands and ribbons (I have a few of those... and by a few, I mean like a zillion)
4. Both self-proclaimed over-talkers
5. Wearing dresses (everyday!)
6. Journal writing
7. An appreciation for cats and their need to be moody
8. "I love the freedom of living alone, but I also love things that make me feel seven again." (quote from TaylorSwift.com) I feel totally the same way... I bet she even loves things like High School Musical
9. She probs like Twilight because she dated Taylor Lautner... Though we'd totally be on separate teams. 
10. Another direct quote that I totally have written in my life "I just think every once in a while you need fries and a chocolate milkshake and your mom."
11. Cooking interesting recipes that challenge us
12. Her songs pretty much tell the story of my life with just less famous boys... 

I think 12 reasons is a pretty strong case as to why we'll be great friends one day.  We'll make great memories, and she'll write a song about our friendship one day. 

If you read this whole post, I commend you.  This post is what I'd like to call procrastination and avoidance in its finest... I have already cleaned and organized everything I could find so here's where the procrastination landed...  on my blog. 

15 November 2010



The Lord has been really challenging my complacent Christianity in the last few weeks... 
How often do I break out of my little Christian bubble?  Better question, how often am I annoyed when I have to interact with the "world?"  How many times in a day do I speak the name of Jesus? How many people in my life have I shared the gospel with?  Why do I choose to withhold life- abundant, full, purposeful life from my friends?


If this man, Jesus, is who I'm giving my life to shouldn't the truth of His message be passionately spilling out of me? Shouldn't it be reflected in the lives of those around me?  Why am I fearful of walking in the truth when it's what I claim to stake my life on?  

Ever go through seasons when you feel like you should just soak up every thing the Lord is teaching you because you feel like you're about to have to be using it.  I'm there... I feel very much like I'm in a preparation season, and I'm a little nervous about what's next. 

09 November 2010

I've been humming this song for the past few days for obvious reasons... thought provoking song. 



Courtney's funeral was yesterday... It was unbearable, and at the same time I felt like I was in an awful movie. Standing with my best girl friends from high school while guys I've known and loved since I was 6 were carrying her casket was unreal.  Just a painful moment... A scene I wish had never played out in front of my eyes. Life just shouldn't be that way.  Each of us girls had a rose to put on the casket before they buried Courtney and letting go of that rose somehow made it all seem so final.  I wish when the funeral was over the hurt and questions stopped as well... unfortunately that's not so.  Now starts the long journey for all of us of processing and coping.  It just makes me hate sin and death and evil in this world... What would I do without the hope and comfort of Jesus?

The bright side of all of this is that I got to see so many friends from so many seasons in my life all in one weekend... I've been so reminded of God's blessings in my life. I have so much to be thankful for. Friends whom I've known and loved since I was 6 and friends I've known for 6 weeks and adore already... Thank you Jesus that our hearts never get too full because I'm pretty sure mine would have overflown by now. 

07 November 2010

I lost a dear friend yesterday... The last few years of distance doesn't take away the sting like I'd hoped it would. 















This post will be dedicated to 13 years of doing everything together from running around in our bathing suits in the yard at 7 years old to getting ready for senior prom together.  She's the reason I ever made cheerleading (or even tried to).  So many fun vacations and parties and hard days where she stood up for me... She wasn't perfect, and neither was I so our friendship was riddled with fights and annoyances, but more with laughter and lots of unforgettable moments. After reading through a BOX of notes from high school and looking through countless pictures- we were officially crazy! 

Tonight, the visitation could have been the hardest thing I've ever done.  Hugging her mama and daddy knowing they have to be hurting so deeply inside was gut wrenching.  Holding my friends up as we all just hurt inside from knowing Courtney's gone, I felt numb, and it felt like I couldn't breathe from the weight of trying to wrap my feeble hands around the tragedy of what has just happened.  It just shouldn't be this way... I can't thank Jesus enough for holding true to his word in Hebrews 6... "this hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls." I don't know what I'd do without that anchor... I feel it deep in my heart when I start to feel like I'm losing it.  A gentle reassuring whisper that one day I'll be able to just think of her and smile. 

Thank you to everyone who's said a prayer.  I can imagine the Lord is using them powerfully.  I'm just trying to learn from this, let myself feel everything, not ignoring it or care taking instead.  Feeling things hurts though... So my prayers continue as I hope your's do too for Courtney's family and friends in this process. 

04 November 2010

 
I've been in super productivity mode since I got home from class (at 9:00 pm- why does this always happen later at night?)... I've cleaned every single dish in my house which for some people that wouldn't be a big deal, but just know that here it is a really big deal.  They're all nicely put away in their shelves.  My kitchen counters are cleaned and sanitized.  Dish towels, bath towels, sheets and sponges are swirling around in the washing machine as we speak.  My oven is on its cleaning cycle so while my kitchen smells like burnt buscuits, it's actually getting super spotless.  All the floors are swept (kitchen floor- mopped). The hutch in the living room has been reorganized.  Blankets have been folded and put away.  My research for my literature review is for the most part read, organized, highlighted and ready to be regurgitated onto a 12 page paper tomorrow (I'm determined to just knock it out!)... Why can't these moods be permanent or at least come more often than every other week?  I can't even imagine what I could do if my mind and body could maintain this.... 
Write a book.
Start an Etsy shop.
Finish grad school faster. 
Always cook dinner (lunch and breakfast). 
Start a new hobby like scuba diving.
I could list forever, but now I'm just wasting time which I'm not in the mood to do.
Yay for my Facebook being broken so that procrastination tool is non-existent at the moment. 

02 November 2010

I wandered away from listening to Christian radio stations for the past few months... for obvious(ish) reasons. I just got tired of hearing the same songs, over and over and over.  This week I turned it back to sweet little Z88.3 here in Orlando (our version of 104.7 The Fish). I discovered two songs that had me in tears on the way to work... 
Lead Me by Sanctus Real 
You Can Have Me by Sidewalk Prophets
You should YouTube/ Itunes these if you haven't heard them. 


Life has been busy in the best way possible lately. I've been having lots of fun, lots of opportunities to laugh, lots of times just to be ridiculous.  Trying to balance all the fun with a little work, a little school, a little rest. What a fabulous season of life to be in! I could not ask for more. 


Excited about the things Jesus is teaching me, saying to my heart in our secret little times together.  He's speaking so clearly and granting me freedom and safety all in one.  He is teaching me patience and trust in that time of waiting.  He's calling me to seek Him in those waiting periods- to not give up on His goodness and faithful.  He will not fail me despite my fear. He's a good God. He is meeting me exactly where I am, and I am relishing the opportunity to jump into my Heavenly Father's arms and rest, just rest and not be afraid. 

28 October 2010

Do you ever have days when you'd do almost anything to just STOP the thoughts rolling around in your mind?
 I would seriously do almost anything for a blank mind right now... 
The thoughts seem out of control, and I'm pretty sure that is not okay.
More and more questions, fewer and fewer answers
I don't have time to process life so I just need for it to just stop for a little while.  
I need a little time warp power on my side.

27 October 2010




I've had an interesting few days... I'd mostly love to just say that it's been FANTASTIC.  I had the most fun and eventful weekend, and I couldn't ask for a better place to live and serve than Orlando at this time in my life.  I went to a fancy little fundraising gala with Marianne, who has become one of the reasons I can bare sitting through Research class on Thursday nights.  I played at the beach with MY small group on Sunday who I love, and I find myself living for Monday nights. What an answered prayer they are! If they only knew, I started praying for them like last April!



I am so happy here. Even though joy is the overarching theme of my life in this sunny little state, God is moving in my life, and as we all know- sometimes it's just not pretty or fun or neat. 
I'm learning to trust and learning to patient (against my will).
God is stretching me physically, but mostly in my mind and heart.  He's testing my faith.
God is putting me in places where I feel uncomfortable which feels like everywhere lately.
He's forcing me to grow up and to return to innocence all at the same time.  
God's letting me wrestle with hard questions without a lot of answers.
He's allowing me walk on the water knowing I'm probably going to look at the waves and lose my gumption. 
In the midst of all that, He's teaching me what it means to love- to love Him first, to have a tender affection for my brothers and sisters in Christ, to love those I'll never meet, to love a world that hates Him and me because I'm on His team.
He's teaching me to trust, to know that in the waiting He'll be faithful. He won't disappoint.  He doesn't forget.  He's not ignorant of my hurt or desires.  
He's showing me who He is and in turn, I'm learning so much about who I am.  
He's showing me his power, and I'm learning to fear it. 
He's teaching me what it means to forgive- mostly myself. 

I am having the time of my life.  I could not ask for more.  I know I'll look back at this season and reminisce about all the incredible memories I'm in the middle of making.  I'll remember the way God was so closely moving and stirring in my life and long for it.  I'm attempting to treasure the moment, to treasure the season, to treasure the gifts, to treasure my freedom, to treasure the people around me, to treasure the ridiculous not Fall like heat, to treasure who I am today (not who I'll be next year at this time), to treasure who the Lord is and how I am encountering Him today. There are just days when my focus is a little off center, and I forget to count my blessings in the mess. 

23 October 2010


I want to live on this little street and ride that little bike every day. 
(I would probably need to have a trendy little job in a book publishing company and have a cute little boyfriend that rides a Vespa to work to complete the picture. )

I've seriously been considering where I could put all of my clothes so I could have one of these.  I would be so productive (or at least I'd feel so stinkin' cute while I was procrastinating) if I had one of these.  

17 October 2010

I went to my first Corn Maze yesterday with this fun group of people... 

called my Summit Connect Group.  

Let's just say my complete lack of direction is not helpful in this situation. 
I did laugh a lot.  I didn't really expect to get dirty, but to say I did is the understatement of the century. I loved all the cheesy little jokes and activities. 

This is my favorite of all...




We had a little adventure of getting a car stuck in the sand, not something that ever happens in Georgia.  My favorite part of the whole ordeal was when Mr. Farmer came out to check on us his final words were "Welcome to the Farm!"  If he only knew that THIS girl did grow up on a farm despite the complete lack of helpful knowledge in that situation. 

 This little small group is such an answered prayer, and I'm so thankful that Jesus provided the community He wanted for me outside of Wesley.  I think He did a pretty good job!


(I really love the finger shadow in this one... It adds some character)

11 October 2010

I haven't written much of a real update in a while, and this isn't really an update in the logistical sense, more of a Jesus update. I just have been camping out on Ecclesiastes 3 verse 11... (for 5 long months)


"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Have you ever read a verse and then all the sudden it is literally the answer to all of life's problems?  I am there with this verse.  Jesus is really trying to root me in contentment no matter the season I find myself in. Currently, pursuing that contentment in the Lord seems to be the answer to anything I encounter from an overload of school projects, an absolutely filled to the brink schedule, a emotionally trying day at Wesley, being homesick, etc.  I repeat this verse to myself and anyone who happens to be within 20 feet of me 90 times a day.  I just cannot grasp this idea that each day, each season, each messy situation is BEAUTIFUL for that time.  I'm not called to just get by in the day... I'm called to see it as beautiful- seriously, beautiful!  My limited sight causes this to be such a hard concept to grasp at times.  

There is beauty in my busy every night of the week schedule because God is working in and through me during those evenings.  
There is beauty in my frustration in completing school work because it's part of following a call the Lord has offered me. 
There is beauty in days when I come home in tears from Wesley because God is breaking me and molding me. 
There is beauty in being homesick because the Lord is teaching me to trust Him and Him alone for my comfort.  
There is beauty in feeling exposed and vulnerable here because that's a state of being God can work with. 
There is beauty in my restlessness for adventure because God created me with zeal for life and an appreciation for this world He's made.  

Maintaining this attitude, especially when tragedy comes, is near to impossible.  But here's the key: Romans 12:2... God has to change the way we think.  We don't see the perspective of eternity, and He sees the work of art He's creating, layer by layer.  We have to let Him transform our minds, or we will never rest in contentment.  
Easy to write, huh? Painful and challenging to live out. 


10 October 2010

Two Things I Love About My Room...

1. I love that it smells like Fall thanks to this tiny little piece of Heaven.




2. Zac and Rob make complete this room... and my life. 

09 October 2010


This is where I am today... In class from 9 to 4, trying to learn something about group counseling. 



This is where my mind is... 

This is an unfortunate circumstance. 

06 October 2010

Wesley had Fall Retreat this weekend, and our speaker was fabulous.  He had a really different style of teaching- much more communal and based around small groups.  He reminded me of how much I love words.  I have always cared way more about the lyrics in a song than the music.  I love how writers and musicians have a way of stringing words together to bring life and joy into our lives.  Knowing this, I LOVE spoken word.  Sometimes I feel like it's a really decadent treat that I forget how much I love until it's set before me.  Amena Brown is a really fabulous poet, and I include a clip of her doing one of my favorites. You should check her out! I love that the Lord allows us to worship in such different ways.  I totally encounter the Lord in the words that she speaks. 


P.S. Fall Retreat was an incredible time for our Freshley group! I'm pretty sure we all fell in love with each other... We also dominated at the group games. Check Facebook for pictures- the blog isn't letting me upload them tonight!


03 October 2010


This is a good picture of my life for the next week... 
Yay for midterms!

29 September 2010

Things I learned about myself today...


1. I could quite possibly be the "jumpiest" person on the planet.  We watched Signs tonight.  It seriously wasn't even scary by my terms, and I hate scary movies.  So it doesn't make sense that it heightens my jumpiness.  I am already easily startled so after watching a movie like that it's extreme... Like tonight- our friend scares us by opening the door quickly and yelling, and I proceed to not just yelp but to do an ugly little girl dance and throw my keys.  Why? I don't know... Apparently that's how my body responds to stress.  That'll be super helpful if it's ever not a friend just joking around, right? Wrong!


2. I am most definitely the weirdest car dancer ever, but I find a LOT of genuine joy in doing it... especially to T. Swift. 


3. I really love good analogies for spiritual things like our college pastor tonight comparing the Israelites journey out of slavery into idolatry as a dating relationship.  It makes sooooo much more sense to me now! I never knew the Ten Commandments were the DTR... the law now makes 100% more sense to me than it did in the last 22 years of being in church.  That's all it took was comparing it to my girl language, and it's like the fog has lifted.


4. I really really really really really love my job... It's exhausting at times.  It's frustrating and messy, and I'm not very good at it yet.  But I love getting to be available to students.  I love facilitating environments where community is built.  I love that people are beginning to trust me here.  I love that God is moving in their lives, and I get to be a tiny part of it. 


5. When I hear sermons like I did tonight that challenge me and rub me raw and leave me feeling a little wounded, I miss home.  I miss family and friends who can finish my sentences.  I miss feeling like it's okay to be a mess.  Homesickness and feeling vulnerable seem to be directly linked.  Maybe I could just find a way to avoid both of those, but I'm thinking it's not very likely. 

28 September 2010


On my way home tonight from a long but excellent day... I heard this song.  Isn't it funny how situations, movies, songs, books hold ties to memories?  When I heard this song, it was like torture listening until the end of the song.  I was bombarded by some long forgotten and long ago "dealt with" emotions.  To say I was frustrated with my mind is an understatement.  I hate how Satan thinks he can steal my joy like that. I refuse to dwell on the past in such an unhealthy way.
We'll just say I learned the lesson John Mayer is talking about in the song...

"It's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say."

26 September 2010

For the past few months I've been minorly obsessed with visiting Austin, Texas... I've even sat in the floor of Barnes and Noble for over an hour reading a travel book about it.  I'm not sure where this desire came from, but I plan to act on it soon.  Anyone up for a road trip (or we can fly)?

20 September 2010

Two things I've found myself a tiny bit addicted to lately:






Greek food... My friend Lindsay introduced me to this little slice of Heaven called Athena in Maitland.  Can you say DELICIOUS?!?  Maybe we've gone a lot lately, and I have no plans to stop. 








Gossip Girl... the series

Brittany is in really big trouble... I have pretty much wasted my life away lately watching the first two seasons of this show.  Such a new guilty pleasure... so dramatic and unrealistic and yet- I'm in love. 


Life is great in Orlando these days... Planning an update soon.  Here's a sneak peak. 


Made some new international friends and we've had some fun adventures!

16 September 2010

Two articles I read today... They both struck me for very different reasons.  Life update coming soon!






I'd especially like to hear what you have to say about the second article... Not sure why it stuck with me so much, but I felt like that was my heart.  Is that really what I should know when I'm 25(ish)?  I thought it presented a nice balance of what it means to grow up without losing your youth. 




"There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming."
*really liked this quote from the article

11 September 2010

My beloved Georgia Bulldogs lost today.  I was frustrated and disappointed until I began watching MSNBC's special about the terror attacks on September 11th.


I don't know a single person who doesn't remember where they were on that day... 
I was sitting in an 8th grade math classroom...
The confusion swirling around the nation was unsettling...
I remember being picked up from school and asking a million questions trying to understand in my 13 year old mind... 
I remember the fear when my mom couldn't explain away my anxiety...


After a little perspective and a prayer asked in forgiveness and gratitude, I'm spending my evening remembering the troops who are sacrificing their lives and time to protect me.  I'm remembering the families who've lost loved ones, and ones who are missing fathers, husbands, sons, daughters, mothers, and wives because of their service to America. I'm thankful that despite my limited sight God is absolutely in control.    


Can't seem to find a lot of emotion for the Dawgs' loss after that. 

07 September 2010


You could just build me a tiny little hut out at the end of this boardwalk, and I could happily live there forever...


Throw in a fountain Diet Coke machine with crunchy ice dispenser and access to a Kindle... I'm as close to Heaven as a girl can dream. 

03 September 2010

I did something today  I've been wanting to do for a few years now...
I went to a movie by myself.  So that probably seems like a pretty lame goal or something that shouldn't be a goal at all, but I have had this secret little desire for most of college.  I finally went today. For some reason I felt so independent and comfortable with being me, just me. This will probably become a habit for me especially discovering that the first movie of the day is only $4.50 instead of a down payment on a house like most movie theaters. 





I saw Eat, Pray, Love... it seemed appropriate for my tiny adventure in independence. Been reading the book, and I have to say I love it (guiltily).  The whole idea of spending a year traveling to three different countries and really getting to immerse yourself in the culture and people and really letting yourself just live without a deadline or a finish line makes my heart long for the day when that can be me.  I hate the way her trip began, and I hate where she thinks she finds peace. I just pray for Elizabeth Gilbert and all her friends along her journey... seeking but deeply confused. Maybe one day she'll end up with Jesus.  The movie was filled with beautiful scenery and visions of finding friendship in unexpected places.  Her journey to embrace each day for the beauty of the present was inspiring. 




The side effects of seeing this movie are a little annoying- the tiny part of me that desperately wants to be spontaneous and adventurous and travel was called to the surface so now here I sit day dreaming of the places I'd like to be- anywhere in the Mediterranean, perusing museums in Italy, following the footsteps of Jesus and the disciples in the Middle East, contentedly strolling through Barcelona or Paris, splashing in the rain in London, soaking up the sun in Brazil, hiking through the masterpiece God made of New Zealand, chatting it up with a llama in Peru, marveling at the busyness of New York, touching my toes to the Pacific Ocean for the first time, attempting to imagine ancient Egypt in all its glory, and I could write for DAYS about all the places my heart longs to travel.  I have a feeling many of those places will remain figments of my imagination never becoming real for me which breaks a little piece of my heart.  However, I take comfort in knowing that of all the places I'd like to be, God has a beautiful plan for the place I am in.  So I've set my mind to not miss the adventure of the present...