I have been reading this book by Beth Moore called So Long Insecurity.  It's one of those books that I'm pretty sure Jesus inspired her to write for my benefit alone. I have learned so much about myself and my insecurity issues... I'm not gonna talk about them here, but believe me I carry lots of them around.  Hopefully it'll become less of a struggle in my life as light has been shed on the truth through this book.  I really love to read so maybe it doesn't mean much when I talk about how quickly I read a book or how many times I've read it, but seriously, it's one of those books I'd buy 20 copies of and hand them out to friends. 

Here's a couple of my favorite passages...

"The truth is, God uses change to change us.  He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny.  I hate to display such a firm grasp of the obvious, but how will we ever change if everything around us stays the same? Or what will ever cause us to move on to the next place He has for us if something doesn't happen to change the way we feel about where we are? God is thoroughly commited to finishing the masterpiece He started in us (Phil. 1:6), and that process means one major thing: change."

"God Himself formed human emotions.  He knkows how easily the heart can be broken.  The mind can be marred.  He knows life hurts...because people hurt...and then hurt people.  He also knows the resilience with which He made us and the innate capacity within each one of us to be restored. Remade.  He knows we are capable of loving even when we feel unloved because He loves us enough to cover those who don't.  He knows we are not nearly as fragile as we think we are, but we will act like who we believe ourselves to be.  He know we have the capacity to be astoundingly extraordinary, and not just in spite of where we've been, but because of it.
God know we're insecure.  But we do not need to be. And He will not leave well enough alone.  He has enough security for both of us, and for those of us who call Christ Savior, He slipped His own secure Spirit within our simple jars of clay.  It is in you to be secure, dear one.  Do you hear what I'm saying to you? You have it in you."


Those are long quotes, but they contain such good simple truth.  The first quote especially is encouraging because of the immense amount of changes barreling toward my life in the next couple weeks.  There's nothing like a big change to make me question my faith- can I really hear God?- question my motives, question whether following what Jesus says is really worth it.  But I am encouraged to know that God uses change, not to punish but to pursue.  He didn't call me to move to Orlando so that I could be uncomfortable for a few years.  He's calling me there because He wants me to grow.  He wants to speak to me and prune me and challenge me.  And I do want to grow and learn to trust the Lord.  So I have to tell the tiny little questions, fears and doubts running around my head to be silent because change will change me for the better. My insecurities should not be able to steal the joy of the adventure of life with Jesus.  This book has shown me how often it has before, and I'm excited to step forward into a new stage of life equipped with the self awareness I've gained from this book.  Jesus and I are on the road to dealing with insecurity in my life because that's not how we were created to live. 

James 1:16-15, NLT
"Don't be mislead, my dear brothers and sisters.  Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.  He never changes or casts a shifting shadow.  He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word.  And we, our of all creation, became his prized possession."

Today my mama told me that sometimes I act like I'm 12... All because of my love for this guy...

And for these books...

 

No worries friends! I got my special Twilight edition of People today so I have 147 new pictures of my future husband.

Thank you Stephanie Meyer!

Everyone has a guilty pleasure.  I just happen to share mine with a few million preteens.

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can." ~Danny Kaye

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face." Eleanor Roosevelt

"Don’t wait for the perfect moment. Take a moment and make it perfect."

"There’s no heavier burden than a great potential." – Linus

 

"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years."

"Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings."

Did I mention my deep love and affection for cheesy, dorky quotes?

New favorite child quote...

"Something bad always happens when Daddy watches us by himself."

I stole my daddy's camera (well, really, I asked him for it and he is letting me "use it").  I love getting to play with it and all the fun manual settings.  One day I'll get good at it, but not yet. Here's the fun pictures I've taken so far... lots of improvement left to gain!

 

I'm off to babysit for a sweet family from my church for a few days.  This is the second time I've been asked to babysit for a family over the period of a few nights.  I am always blown away that people trust me.  I mean, do these parents know that I sometimes sleep in until 11, forget to eat meals, have a messy bedroom, sometimes read until 2am? Am I actually capable of taking care of three children for more than a few hours? Are the kids confident of my skills? Ahh... I just think it's funny how unqualified I feel to take care of anyone but myself- that's a task that I don't even always accomplish properly.  Don't get me wrong- I always have so much fun getting to babysit and spend quality time with kids when their parents are away, but it blows me away the amount of responsibility they trust me with.  I feel like I learn so much when we're just one on one compared to just visiting the family.  I love to learn about different families and their bedtime rituals and rules, how they do meals, what's expected of their kids. I love the individuality of every family.  I admire so many of the parents I've sat for because of the way their children act when they're not watching- they're trained them well.

I also have a new found appreciation and awe of moms.  How do they function every day?  After four days with 3 fabulous and adorable children in Orlando last December I was exhausted. I mean, not just a little tired, but sleep in for days and still not recover kind of tired. Not because the kids were misbehaving but because life with kids is so active 24/7.  I have no idea how moms find time to get dressed for the day or read a book or talk to Jesus or have a hobby.  I can't imagine being a mom and knowing the work never has an end.  Then again, there are those sweet little moments when they say something so precocious and funny, or they curl up in your lap with a little book and stuffed animal.  I guess that provides some energy or at least, encouragement for the day.

I'll leave you with my favorite toddler quote from one of these cuties.

Me: Mabry, do you know where rainbows come from? (I ask this question thinking I'm going to reinforce the story of Noah's Ark and teach her some great Biblical truth.)

Mabry: Of course I know! Disney World!  (Of course! Why didn't I think of that?)

Last night I had the incredible joy of getting to stay up late with some dear friends of mine on my last official night in Athens, and I realized that four years ago I was yearning for the kind of community that I am now so deeply immersed in.  What a difference a few years makes! We stayed up past 2am working on a stupidly hard puzzle and laughing at anything that remotely resembled humor. The whole time I just wanted to press pause and bottle up the laughter and joy and love in that little room.  But how encouraging that God blessed me with community in such a short time.  I'm sure there is precious, loving community in store for me in the sunshine state, and I am thrilled and excited to discover what exactly that'll look like, how I'll learn from them, the ways I'll know Jesus better because of them.  But who wants to leave community when it feels so safe? Being loved and knowing it is a blessing in life that I hope I never take for granted.  I know today I am overflowing with gratefulness for the people who've helped shape me here. 

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time... " Ecclesiastes 3:11

I just registered for my first class of seminary/ grad school...

Mistake #1: Reading the syllabus
Ahhh!!! I am terrified.  I am pretty much bound to fail this one.  Three books read and reflection paper due on day one of class.  Then, a 15 page research paper due 11 days later on a subject I haven't yet been enlightened on.  On top of the first week of classes with the campus ministry I'll be working for. This shouldn't be a big deal except that I spent my glorious undergrad years at the University of Georgia and NEVER wrote one single research paper.  I think the longest paper I wrote at all was 6 or 7 pages.  This might be the end of me.  So long good academic standing- Asbury's Counseling program just might do me in.

Mistake #2: Looking for textbooks
Why? Oh, why are you so expensive? This was the nail in the coffin.

On the bright side, I get to read a book by Henry Nouwen called The Wounded Healer which I have been planning to read already.  Good thing I'll have a good excuse to be reclusive and sneak off into corners and read now.  Actually, that may be all I do for the next few years.

I love tulips and springtime...

Spring shows what God can do with a drab and dirty world. ~Virgil A. Kraft

Adventure must start with running away from home. ~ William Bolitho

I am attempting to take this little quote to heart. 

This is my second adventure into blogging, but I'm going to be better at maintaining this blog than I was in the past.  More than anything, I wanted to start blogging as an outlet for me to explore all the ideas in my head.  I love journaling so here's another form of it.  I have to warn you.  If you don't like cheesy quotes and silly pictures... this is not the place for you. 

I chose the title of the blog to be "Simply Loved" honestly because that is how I feel today.  I am glimpsing a tiny sliver of the love Jesus has for me, and I am overwhelmed.  In preparing to leave the quaint little college town that I have called home recently, I am reminded of the sweet blessings in my life.  Jesus spoils me! I have felt more loved by the people around me in the past few weeks than any person deserves, much less me.  What a bittersweet revelation to be making in my last few days here.  I am excited for what's ahead and all the adventures and friends and family waiting for me in Florida (where I will be moving soon!)

Here's to running away from home and being well loved!