Do you ever have days when you'd do almost anything to just STOP the thoughts rolling around in your mind?

 I would seriously do almost anything for a blank mind right now... 

The thoughts seem out of control, and I'm pretty sure that is not okay.

More and more questions, fewer and fewer answers

I don't have time to process life so I just need for it to just stop for a little while.  

I need a little time warp power on my side.

I've had an interesting few days... I'd mostly love to just say that it's been FANTASTIC.  I had the most fun and eventful weekend, and I couldn't ask for a better place to live and serve than Orlando at this time in my life.  I went to a fancy little fundraising gala with Marianne, who has become one of the reasons I can bare sitting through Research class on Thursday nights.  I played at the beach with MY small group on Sunday who I love, and I find myself living for Monday nights. What an answered prayer they are! If they only knew, I started praying for them like last April!

I am so happy here. Even though joy is the overarching theme of my life in this sunny little state, God is moving in my life, and as we all know- sometimes it's just not pretty or fun or neat. 

I'm learning to trust and learning to patient (against my will).

God is stretching me physically, but mostly in my mind and heart.  He's testing my faith.

God is putting me in places where I feel uncomfortable which feels like everywhere lately.

He's forcing me to grow up and to return to innocence all at the same time.  

God's letting me wrestle with hard questions without a lot of answers.

He's allowing me walk on the water knowing I'm probably going to look at the waves and lose my gumption. 

In the midst of all that, He's teaching me what it means to love- to love Him first, to have a tender affection for my brothers and sisters in Christ, to love those I'll never meet, to love a world that hates Him and me because I'm on His team.

He's teaching me to trust, to know that in the waiting He'll be faithful. He won't disappoint.  He doesn't forget.  He's not ignorant of my hurt or desires.  

He's showing me who He is and in turn, I'm learning so much about who I am.  

He's showing me his power, and I'm learning to fear it. 

He's teaching me what it means to forgive- mostly myself. 

I am having the time of my life.  I could not ask for more.  I know I'll look back at this season and reminisce about all the incredible memories I'm in the middle of making.  I'll remember the way God was so closely moving and stirring in my life and long for it.  I'm attempting to treasure the moment, to treasure the season, to treasure the gifts, to treasure my freedom, to treasure the people around me, to treasure the ridiculous not Fall like heat, to treasure who I am today (not who I'll be next year at this time), to treasure who the Lord is and how I am encountering Him today. There are just days when my focus is a little off center, and I forget to count my blessings in the mess. 

I want to live on this little street and ride that little bike every day. 

(I would probably need to have a trendy little job in a book publishing company and have a cute little boyfriend that rides a Vespa to work to complete the picture. )

I've seriously been considering where I could put all of my clothes so I could have one of these.  I would be so productive (or at least I'd feel so stinkin' cute while I was procrastinating) if I had one of these.  

I went to my first Corn Maze yesterday with this fun group of people... 

called my Summit Connect Group.  

Let's just say my complete lack of direction is not helpful in this situation. 

I did laugh a lot.  I didn't really expect to get dirty, but to say I did is the understatement of the century. I loved all the cheesy little jokes and activities. 

This is my favorite of all...

We had a little adventure of getting a car stuck in the sand, not something that ever happens in Georgia.  My favorite part of the whole ordeal was when Mr. Farmer came out to check on us his final words were "Welcome to the Farm!"  If he only knew that THIS girl did grow up on a farm despite the complete lack of helpful knowledge in that situation. 

 This little small group is such an answered prayer, and I'm so thankful that Jesus provided the community He wanted for me outside of Wesley.  I think He did a pretty good job!

(I really love the finger shadow in this one... It adds some character)

I haven't written much of a real update in a while, and this isn't really an update in the logistical sense, more of a Jesus update. I just have been camping out on Ecclesiastes 3 verse 11... (for 5 long months)

"Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time.  He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end."

Have you ever read a verse and then all the sudden it is literally the answer to all of life's problems?  I am there with this verse.  Jesus is really trying to root me in contentment no matter the season I find myself in. Currently, pursuing that contentment in the Lord seems to be the answer to anything I encounter from an overload of school projects, an absolutely filled to the brink schedule, a emotionally trying day at Wesley, being homesick, etc.  I repeat this verse to myself and anyone who happens to be within 20 feet of me 90 times a day.  I just cannot grasp this idea that each day, each season, each messy situation is BEAUTIFUL for that time.  I'm not called to just get by in the day... I'm called to see it as beautiful- seriously, beautiful!  My limited sight causes this to be such a hard concept to grasp at times.  

There is beauty in my busy every night of the week schedule because God is working in and through me during those evenings.  

There is beauty in my frustration in completing school work because it's part of following a call the Lord has offered me. 

There is beauty in days when I come home in tears from Wesley because God is breaking me and molding me. 

There is beauty in being homesick because the Lord is teaching me to trust Him and Him alone for my comfort.  

There is beauty in feeling exposed and vulnerable here because that's a state of being God can work with. 

There is beauty in my restlessness for adventure because God created me with zeal for life and an appreciation for this world He's made.  

Maintaining this attitude, especially when tragedy comes, is near to impossible.  But here's the key: Romans 12:2... God has to change the way we think.  We don't see the perspective of eternity, and He sees the work of art He's creating, layer by layer.  We have to let Him transform our minds, or we will never rest in contentment.  

Easy to write, huh? Painful and challenging to live out. 

Two Things I Love About My Room...

1. I love that it smells like Fall thanks to this tiny little piece of Heaven.

2. Zac and Rob make complete this room... and my life. 

This is where I am today... In class from 9 to 4, trying to learn something about group counseling. 

This is where my mind is... 

This is an unfortunate circumstance. 

Wesley had Fall Retreat this weekend, and our speaker was fabulous.  He had a really different style of teaching- much more communal and based around small groups.  He reminded me of how much I love words.  I have always cared way more about the lyrics in a song than the music.  I love how writers and musicians have a way of stringing words together to bring life and joy into our lives.  Knowing this, I LOVE spoken word.  Sometimes I feel like it's a really decadent treat that I forget how much I love until it's set before me.  Amena Brown is a really fabulous poet, and I include a clip of her doing one of my favorites. You should check her out! I love that the Lord allows us to worship in such different ways.  I totally encounter the Lord in the words that she speaks. 

Masterpiece- Amena Brown

P.S. Fall Retreat was an incredible time for our Freshley group! I'm pretty sure we all fell in love with each other... We also dominated at the group games. Check Facebook for pictures- the blog isn't letting me upload them tonight!

This is a good picture of my life for the next week... 

Yay for midterms!