Refresh conference has surprised me...
I know the Lord is moving here and in my heart, but in unexpected ways.
I've cried or been on the verge of tears nearly all day... In my world, this is a sign of the Spirit making me sensitive.
I've seen growth in myself in relationship which encourages the deepest part of my soul.  I so want to know how to love and be loved well.  I've been reading Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Mason, and while his words have pushed me, I am getting to practice this week.  And by the sweet grace of Jesus, I'm not completely failing.  I am astounded by the joy and peace I get to experience by just making tiny changes in my heart and mind.  Humanity has been reframed for me.  I'm encountering Jesus less in a 24-hour prayer room today and more so in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant devouring delicious Israeli food and getting to see souls rather than facades.  I'm learning in the smallest increments to how to love, but my life already feels different.  Love changes you in a profound unexplainable way.
This trip has been difficult in another way... waiting.  Whether I want to or not, I'm waiting on the Lord's answer to some petitions dangerously close to my heart.  I was hoping ever so strongly that the magical International House of Prayer prayer room would usher in a reply to my requests... not exactly.  There is a slightly larger measure of peace in my heart, but also of anticipation.  (Funny how those both grew together...) The Lord's responses were not black and white.  They were not words of action.  But rather... a tender-hearted Jesus knowingly smiling and saying, "Don't worry.  There's no rush.  You have the rest of your life, and I know how long that will be.  Enjoy this season.  Don't wish it away.  You are in a sweet time of life.  You have me."  I do have Him... The creator of the universe has confessed His unchanging heart for me over and over again in written word, in my heart, in creation.  There is no doubt there.  How could I not be satisfied in THAT? He is a safe place to put my trust... even in the waiting.  

"Lord, You alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.  You guard all that is mine."  Psalm 16:5

He is trustworthy.

Hello cold, flat Kansas City! 
You will probably never be my favorite city, but I love that IHOP (International House of Prayer) lives here.
Tonight, we spent a couple hours in the prayer room there.  It was sweet time for so many reasons. 
1. How often do I get to set aside two whole hours to just sit in Jesus' presence and just rest and listen and pray?  Basically never... so that was great!
2. Jesus was incredibly gracious (as always) to capture my wandering thoughts, to gently whisper to me.
3. In the sweet whispers, He spoke perfectly into the fears and pleadings of my heart.  Not one word out of place, not one word wasted...

This time reminded me of how thirsty my soul was, how empty my heart was from running on stolen moments with the Lord rather than sustained intimate worship. My schedule will be seeing some shuffling soon... Time to rearrange the priorities.  

We had some sweet community building time with our staff which is so refreshing... Thus far our trek to Kansas City is living up to its name- Refresh.

I had a really fun, relaxing weekend... I don't want to leave semi-warmer Florida for ridiculously freezing Kansas City or currently snowing North Georgia.  But alas, I am leaving in the morning for a four day conference with the Wesley staff.  Then, I am on to Lula, Charlotte and Memphis over the break... 

I'm a sucker for a good love song... This one has absolutely captured my heart. It's been playing on repeat in my head all day.  

All About Us

Sweet song about a first dance...

Read a challenging/encouraging blog today... I posted an excerpt. 

"...we serve a God who loves redemption more than we can possibly imagine. We may feel disqualified for his mercy. We may feel too dirty for his grace. We may feel only a series of white knuckle works will open back up his gates.

But, that’s not what his love letter says. We are not shown a steady parade of heroes who became even more heroic in the hands of God. We are shown a parade of failures who found forgiveness. Losers who found love. Hopeless who found hope.

Christmas is a loud season, but hopefully, you’ll hear the real song.

It’s one of redemption. My redemption. Your redemption. Our redemption.

The God who loved Judah and David and Paul, loves you. And that’s a very redeeming thought."

If you want to read the whole post, here's the link...

So thankful for the hopefulness Christmas brings.  We are sinners in need of a savior... and God provided a way for us to redemption.  

Question of my day...

How do I know the difference in being persistent and laboring in prayer for something (and it not immediately happening) and a closed door from the Lord?  Seems to me like both scenarios would feel the same in my heart... 

Easy week around Wesley for now... Thankful for that.

Freezing cold in central Florida... Can't say I'm really thankful there.

Starting a Bible study/book study on Prayer in small group... Thankful for that.  Challenged by it already.  Makes me miss UGA Wesley in a way.  Prayer was always the cornerstone, the priority.  They have a unique calling for powerful, persistent, joyful intercession that I got to enjoy and learn from in my time there.

Ever have a day or a week where you're pretty sure, you're on the verge of a breakthrough the with Lord or with understanding yourself?

I'm there today.  Maybe it's a good thing I'm being reminded of the central place prayer should have in my life.  Communion with God, my rootedness in Christ is essential, necessary, fulfilling, the reason I exist. It deserves to be reestablished as the glasses through which I view the world- it's skewed by any other perspective than Christ's.