Refresh conference has surprised me...
I know the Lord is moving here and in my heart, but in unexpected ways.
I've cried or been on the verge of tears nearly all day... In my world, this is a sign of the Spirit making me sensitive.
I've seen growth in myself in relationship which encourages the deepest part of my soul.  I so want to know how to love and be loved well.  I've been reading Practicing the Presence of People by Mike Mason, and while his words have pushed me, I am getting to practice this week.  And by the sweet grace of Jesus, I'm not completely failing.  I am astounded by the joy and peace I get to experience by just making tiny changes in my heart and mind.  Humanity has been reframed for me.  I'm encountering Jesus less in a 24-hour prayer room today and more so in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant devouring delicious Israeli food and getting to see souls rather than facades.  I'm learning in the smallest increments to how to love, but my life already feels different.  Love changes you in a profound unexplainable way.
This trip has been difficult in another way... waiting.  Whether I want to or not, I'm waiting on the Lord's answer to some petitions dangerously close to my heart.  I was hoping ever so strongly that the magical International House of Prayer prayer room would usher in a reply to my requests... not exactly.  There is a slightly larger measure of peace in my heart, but also of anticipation.  (Funny how those both grew together...) The Lord's responses were not black and white.  They were not words of action.  But rather... a tender-hearted Jesus knowingly smiling and saying, "Don't worry.  There's no rush.  You have the rest of your life, and I know how long that will be.  Enjoy this season.  Don't wish it away.  You are in a sweet time of life.  You have me."  I do have Him... The creator of the universe has confessed His unchanging heart for me over and over again in written word, in my heart, in creation.  There is no doubt there.  How could I not be satisfied in THAT? He is a safe place to put my trust... even in the waiting.  

"Lord, You alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.  You guard all that is mine."  Psalm 16:5

He is trustworthy.