Things I learned about myself today...


1. I could quite possibly be the "jumpiest" person on the planet.  We watched Signs tonight.  It seriously wasn't even scary by my terms, and I hate scary movies.  So it doesn't make sense that it heightens my jumpiness.  I am already easily startled so after watching a movie like that it's extreme... Like tonight- our friend scares us by opening the door quickly and yelling, and I proceed to not just yelp but to do an ugly little girl dance and throw my keys.  Why? I don't know... Apparently that's how my body responds to stress.  That'll be super helpful if it's ever not a friend just joking around, right? Wrong!


2. I am most definitely the weirdest car dancer ever, but I find a LOT of genuine joy in doing it... especially to T. Swift. 


3. I really love good analogies for spiritual things like our college pastor tonight comparing the Israelites journey out of slavery into idolatry as a dating relationship.  It makes sooooo much more sense to me now! I never knew the Ten Commandments were the DTR... the law now makes 100% more sense to me than it did in the last 22 years of being in church.  That's all it took was comparing it to my girl language, and it's like the fog has lifted.


4. I really really really really really love my job... It's exhausting at times.  It's frustrating and messy, and I'm not very good at it yet.  But I love getting to be available to students.  I love facilitating environments where community is built.  I love that people are beginning to trust me here.  I love that God is moving in their lives, and I get to be a tiny part of it. 


5. When I hear sermons like I did tonight that challenge me and rub me raw and leave me feeling a little wounded, I miss home.  I miss family and friends who can finish my sentences.  I miss feeling like it's okay to be a mess.  Homesickness and feeling vulnerable seem to be directly linked.  Maybe I could just find a way to avoid both of those, but I'm thinking it's not very likely. 

Say by John Mayer

On my way home tonight from a long but excellent day... I heard this song.  Isn't it funny how situations, movies, songs, books hold ties to memories?  When I heard this song, it was like torture listening until the end of the song.  I was bombarded by some long forgotten and long ago "dealt with" emotions.  To say I was frustrated with my mind is an understatement.  I hate how Satan thinks he can steal my joy like that. I refuse to dwell on the past in such an unhealthy way.

We'll just say I learned the lesson John Mayer is talking about in the song...

"It's better to say too much than never to say what you need to say."

For the past few months I've been minorly obsessed with visiting Austin, Texas... I've even sat in the floor of Barnes and Noble for over an hour reading a travel book about it.  I'm not sure where this desire came from, but I plan to act on it soon.  Anyone up for a road trip (or we can fly)?

Two things I've found myself a tiny bit addicted to lately:

Greek food... My friend Lindsay introduced me to this little slice of Heaven called Athena in Maitland.  Can you say DELICIOUS?!?  Maybe we've gone a lot lately, and I have no plans to stop. 

Gossip Girl... the series

Brittany is in really big trouble... I have pretty much wasted my life away lately watching the first two seasons of this show.  Such a new guilty pleasure... so dramatic and unrealistic and yet- I'm in love. 

Life is great in Orlando these days... Planning an update soon.  Here's a sneak peak. 

Made some new international friends and we've had some fun adventures!

Two articles I read today... They both struck me for very different reasons.  Life update coming soon!

The Story of Grace by Andy Stanley

What to Know When You're 25(ish)

I'd especially like to hear what you have to say about the second article... Not sure why it stuck with me so much, but I felt like that was my heart.  Is that really what I should know when I'm 25(ish)?  I thought it presented a nice balance of what it means to grow up without losing your youth. 

"There is a season for wildness and a season for settledness, and this is neither. This season is about becoming."

*really liked this quote from the article

My beloved Georgia Bulldogs lost today.  I was frustrated and disappointed until I began watching MSNBC's special about the terror attacks on September 11th.


I don't know a single person who doesn't remember where they were on that day... 
I was sitting in an 8th grade math classroom...
The confusion swirling around the nation was unsettling...
I remember being picked up from school and asking a million questions trying to understand in my 13 year old mind... 
I remember the fear when my mom couldn't explain away my anxiety...


After a little perspective and a prayer asked in forgiveness and gratitude, I'm spending my evening remembering the troops who are sacrificing their lives and time to protect me.  I'm remembering the families who've lost loved ones, and ones who are missing fathers, husbands, sons, daughters, mothers, and wives because of their service to America. I'm thankful that despite my limited sight God is absolutely in control.    

Can't seem to find a lot of emotion for the Dawgs' loss after that. 

You could just build me a tiny little hut out at the end of this boardwalk, and I could happily live there forever...

Throw in a fountain Diet Coke machine with crunchy ice dispenser and access to a Kindle... I'm as close to Heaven as a girl can dream. 

I did something today  I've been wanting to do for a few years now...
I went to a movie by myself.  So that probably seems like a pretty lame goal or something that shouldn't be a goal at all, but I have had this secret little desire for most of college.  I finally went today. For some reason I felt so independent and comfortable with being me, just me. This will probably become a habit for me especially discovering that the first movie of the day is only $4.50 instead of a down payment on a house like most movie theaters. 

I saw Eat, Pray, Love... it seemed appropriate for my tiny adventure in independence. Been reading the book, and I have to say I love it (guiltily).  The whole idea of spending a year traveling to three different countries and really getting to immerse yourself in the culture and people and really letting yourself just live without a deadline or a finish line makes my heart long for the day when that can be me.  I hate the way her trip began, and I hate where she thinks she finds peace. I just pray for Elizabeth Gilbert and all her friends along her journey... seeking but deeply confused. Maybe one day she'll end up with Jesus.  The movie was filled with beautiful scenery and visions of finding friendship in unexpected places.  Her journey to embrace each day for the beauty of the present was inspiring. 

The side effects of seeing this movie are a little annoying- the tiny part of me that desperately wants to be spontaneous and adventurous and travel was called to the surface so now here I sit day dreaming of the places I'd like to be- anywhere in the Mediterranean, perusing museums in Italy, following the footsteps of Jesus and the disciples in the Middle East, contentedly strolling through Barcelona or Paris, splashing in the rain in London, soaking up the sun in Brazil, hiking through the masterpiece God made of New Zealand, chatting it up with a llama in Peru, marveling at the busyness of New York, touching my toes to the Pacific Ocean for the first time, attempting to imagine ancient Egypt in all its glory, and I could write for DAYS about all the places my heart longs to travel.  I have a feeling many of those places will remain figments of my imagination never becoming real for me which breaks a little piece of my heart.  However, I take comfort in knowing that of all the places I'd like to be, God has a beautiful plan for the place I am in.  So I've set my mind to not miss the adventure of the present...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-RH5w6ZsGM&feature=related

I just really love this song... I think the song just articulates the absolute desire of my heart, and Phil Wickham is amazing.